Keane & Claudine Do The I Do...

When the soccer star met the model... Lovebirds Robbie Keane and Claudine Palmer tied the knot at the weekend with no magazine deal and no ring-of-steel security cordon. Well, someone could have told us before we donned the cammo gear, face paint and hid in a bush for three days communicating only through bird calls and hand signals...

Robbie Keane, Claudine Palmer

Here at ShowBiz Ireland we take celebrity weddings very seriously. We put celeb nuptials on a par with how athletes view the Olympic Games. Preparation, preparation, preparation... With the usual hi-tech security protection of the seven figure magazine deal, we have to go all out to try to get a lens peek at the bride in groom. Sorry! Bride AND Groom. Yes. You guessed it. We go native.

Robbie Keane, Claudine Palmer

So with all the misinformation and badly investigated storylines in the Red Tops over the past number of weeks, we thought we were on a total exclusive winner when we got the inside track on the Robbie Keane and Claudine Palmer's Wedding ceremony. Chiiiiiing.

Jamie Redknapp, Louise Redknapp

A few lame hacks had fed the Nation total BS in relation to the wedding day with phantom OK! Magazine deals and idiotic notions of the couple doing their nuptials in a feckin' tent in the Ritz Carlton... Come on lads, you can do better. Sloppy.

Louise Redknapp's Baby Bump

Perhaps a few of the tabloids were throwing out red-herrings to misdirect the competition, but we don't think they are even close to being that clever... Either way, WE had the church, WE had the day, WE had the arrival time. WE thought we had an exclusive.

Shay Given, wife, Mick Byrne

How wrong we were. Last Saturday, ShowBiz Ireland's elite Paps rolled across car bonnets, shimmied up AND down drain pipes, stuck twigs in their hair and filled several flasks with sweet black tea. Oh yes. We dug in deeper than an Alabama Tick. Lenses were wiped and primed folks. We were ready for anything.

Damien Duff

Then the moment came. Girls in big hats and fellas in stiff suits appeared, walking up sunny Shanganagh Terrace in Ballybrack. Game on. Then they filed into St Alphonsus & St Columba's church grounds, one famous face after another. Woo-Hoo. We had it.

Wesley Quirke, Rosanna Davison

Wait there... Who is that with the camera? Who is that scribbling franticly in that notebook? Nooooo. Paparazzi and Hacks appeared all over the place, like flies on shite! We emerged from the undergrowth like The Predator when he switched off his cloaking device. "Howya lads, so you had the location too?"

The Irish Paparazzi

But in fairness to the Irish Paparazzi brigade, they respected the couple's space on their big day and remained behind a make-shift barrier to give them and their guests the room to enjoy the atmosphere and glorious sunshine. A respectable well-mannered mob.

Pippa O'Connor, Brian Ormond

Seems like EVERYONE had the same info we had. Every man and his dog knew about the wedding and somehow that fact hadn't filtered through to us, but we just acted cool and played it down... Course we knew everyone knew. Ahem.

Mags Humphries (Assets)

Robbie Keane and Claudine Palmer did it in style. When they finally said "I do" at the wedding ceremony, they emerged husband and wife and posed for the waiting snappers. No burly security guards, no black sheets and massive umbrellas. Just a frantic wedding planner in the background, trying to straighten-out Claudine Keane's train.

Mother of the Bride Joan Palmer

Here at ShowBiz Ireland we couldn't be happier for Claudine and her mother Joan, who are both long-time friends of our little fame focused institution... Although, we reckon our Wedding invitation must have got lost in the post.

A Flower Girl

Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Keane, we wish you a long and happy marriage... Just keep in touch and avoid selling the rights to any other big-days in your relationship to those damn UK glossy mags. That way we can leave the cammo gear at home!

Mr. Robbie Keane & Mrs. Claudine Keane