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28.02.08

The 23: Ireland's New Model Mafia

Ala Paul Williams and Donal McIntyre, ShowBiz Ireland has gone deep deep deep undercover and delved into the sparkley overworld which is Professional modelling in Ireland. What we discovered was a hardcore syndicate of beauties who protect their territory with an iron Prada glove. The following expose will shock and you. It may even put your very life at risk. Read on if you dare...

The 23: Pippa O'Connor, Sara Kavanagh, Julie Kavanagh, Beatrice Larkin, Karena Graham, Rachel Wyse

For literally a whole entire hour ShowBiz Ireland has gone to unprecedented lengths to break the code of Ireland's elite group of silver-spoon fed models and reveal to you, the humble fat spotty reader, their inner most protected secrets. Yes you guessed it folks, we went Monk.

The 23's Kingpin: Rosanna Davison

For a long time now our tightly honed spider-senses have been tingling like car-azy every time we spotted another and yet another of a specific group of pretty friends slowly but surely dominating PR photocalls and press launches. But with a flash of their dazzling veneered smiles and a flicker of their 9 inch eyelashes, like most other men, we were reduced to silly-putty before we could investigate further. Damn those eyelashes.

The 23's Lieutenant: Sara Kavanagh

But the journalistic force runs strong in our veins. Through pure determination and cat-like reflexes we overcame their lady charms and discovered their gang's true name: The 23. Oh yes. The number 23... The codename for Dublin's most elite special forces modelling syndicate. Their mission? To model the damn hell outta stuff, party, then model some more. And who's gonna stop them – you? The media?? The Law??? Don't make us laugh, they are the law!

Julie Kavanagh

Through intense cognitive processes and reprogramming our natural conditioning, we eventually cracked The 23's code. It all started when we noticed that specific number showing up on a regular basis. One of their leaders, Sara Kavanagh, celebrated her 23rd birthday in their Krystle headquarters recently where the minimum age limit is, you guessed it, 23.

Pippa O'Connor

That's when it clicked. Sara was 23 and SO was her younger sister, of 3 years, Julie! Something didn't add up. We brought in the NASA's biggest brains to work out the calculations, the permutations and combinations. It was crazy. After going over the numbers literally 2 times, we were burnt out.

Karena Graham

But the number. It just kept coming at us, from everywhere. 23 here, 23 there. Car registrations. Mobile phone numbers. 23. Were we in too deep? All of a sudden, every one of these models was aged 23. Their waist sizes, 23. They only walked in groups of 2 or 3 (23). Or groups of 6 (2 times 3). The number was everywhere! Following us. Taunting us.

Rachel Wyse, Sara Kavanagh

Just when we thought a nervous breakdown was on the cards, a beam of light shone on us. In the form of an insider, close to a power-player of the hyper sexy hierarchy. His codename? We’ll just call him Qesley Wuirke for his protection... Apparently the kingpin of the group is former Miss World Rosanna Davison. Her lieutenant is Sara Kavanagh. Sara organises their covert meetings at Krystle nightclub through her boyfriend Conor 'Angel Eyes' Buckley. They only meet there in the VIP when it's full, so no one suspects anything. Brilliant.

Conor Buckley, Sara Kavanagh

The rest of the highly primped flock include Pippa O'Connor, Julie Kavanagh, Beatrice Larkin, Karena Graham, Rachel Wyse and a few more we're just too scared to reveal. The list goes all the way to the top. TO THE TOP.

Rosanna Davison

There is a strict membership criteria for The 23. First, members have to be a model on the books of Assets. Second, they must have attended UCD but never have done any actual jobs related to their degrees. Third, members must be models but have never been on an actual catwalk, except for the one at the UCD fashion show (obviously). Fourth, members must do at least one dodgy photocall wearing a ridiculous outfit or holding an animal at the top of Grafton Street each week. Fifth, members must never been seen in anything but a pretty dress and high-heels with a fresh layer or six of spray tan. Lastly, members of The 23 can only date fellas who will get them into the Sunday Social pages or play rugby for Leinster or have a Daddy with a few quid and a gaff in Marbella.

Wesley Quirke, Rosanna Davison

So there you have it. We risked life and limb to expose The 23, their members, their codes of practice, their membership criteria and their goal for global domination of PR photocalls in-and-around Grafton Street, Monday to Friday, between the hours of 11.30am to 3pm, avoiding the first 2 weeks in August when all-the-gang loike go down to Marbella. Linekers baby!

The 23's henchmen: Andy Quirke, Wesley Quirke

Scary stuff. We know. Half-expecting to wake-up in the morning with a My Little Pony head lying on the pillow... Remember, no one messes with The 23... This webpage will self-destruct in 5 seconds.

The 23: Pippa O'Connor, Sara Kavanagh, Julie Kavanagh, Beatrice Larkin, Karena Graham, Rachel Wyse

The 23. Their ONLY nemesis: The wind.

 

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