Noirin Brings Her Fella Home...

If you were among the six or seven people actually watching Big Brother this year you are no doubt quite au fait with Irish contestant Noirin Kelly. Well, after causing quite a stir on the paint-by-numbers controversy-for-controversy's-sake TV show, she's out on her ear and back in Dublin with her American soul mate beau in tow...

Noirin Kelly

Over the years we have been HUGE fans of Channel 4's Big Brother but the last few runs haven't really pushed the Reality TV format at all what with racial and sexual stereotyping of housemates and the apparent manipulation of 'storylines' for ratings. It's all gone a bit meh, this year we didn't even bother to watch despite one of the strongest characters being a hot young gal from Dublin.

Noirin Kelly, Isaac Stout

Yup. It was one of our own making the most waves in the house what with all the fellas falling over each other to pull 25 year old Noirin. But those cunning Channel 4 script writers had the last laugh when they threw in her ex boyfriend Isaac Stout, right after she had started snogging fellow housemate Siavash. And just in case you think we actually knew all those facts off the top of our heads, we have to inform you that Google is only a great thing!

Noirin Kelly, Isaac Stout

Thus, our Noirin was painted as a scarlet woman as she broke the heart of Siavash and jumped back into the arms of her Yankee Doodle Dandy ex Isaac... Kinda predictable seeing as all she was going-on about during the show was how much she loved her man on the outside and how much she wanted him back etc etc...

Noirin Kelly, Isaac Stout

But with your average Big Brother voter having about as much intelligence as ermm uhhh your average Big Bother voter - the writing was on the wall for the Dublin babe. The fact that she was stitched-up by the producers who script the show had absolutely noooothing to do with it... Not to worry, with their ratings dropping faster than house prices, we doubt if the show will be back next year. The format's dead folks, it had a good run, time to let it go now.

Isaac Stout

Anyroad. With Noirin out on her arse, her fella Isaac soon followed on his own steam, politely asking the producers to let him walk... Well, he only entered the house to see his ex burd - he was hardly gonna sit around for the rest of the summer making small-talk with the freaks-and-geeks while pining for Noirin on the outside, now was he? Man, this show used to actually be good.

Noirin Kelly

Now Isaac & Noirin (Is-No) are on the outside it's time for the handsome couple to make a few quid before the sands of time run-out on their 15 minutes. So, with no discernible talents we know of - it's Personal Appearance time folks... Yay!

Noirin Kelly

Noirin's debut Irish PA was at Mantra Garden Bar & Club in Maynooth yesterday. Herself and the boyfriend were on hand to launch the rather opulent venue's exotic new cocktail menu. And for newbies, they did it as professionally as your average photocall queen would have. Like feckin' ducks to water, they were...

Noirin Kelly

And despite only being out of Big Bro five minutes, our Noirin has already done a raunchy photoshoot for Nutz magazine. Apparently she will be the first ever black girl to garnish the cover of the Lads Mag... Move over Rosa Parks, Dr. King and Barack Obama.

Noirin Kelly

So there you have it folks. Noirin Kelly joins the lengthy list of Irish Big Brother housemates. Let's see if we can name them all without Google: Anna Nolan, Brian Dowling, Ray Shah, Spiral, Orlaith McAllister, erm, that kooky Michael Jackson superfan Seany, annnnd, ummm, oh yeah, Mary Whatsherface - the white witch one... We think that's them all... But where are they all now?

Noirin Kelly, Isaac Stout